When Bad Things Happen to Good People is it All Bad?

What does it mean when bad things happen to good people? Synonyms of bad as defined by Merriam-Webster are crummy, lame, lousy, sour, suboptimal, subpar, unacceptable, unsatisfactory and wrong.

If you are a good person, why do things go wrong or turn out lousy and feel unacceptable? I think that this is a great question worth exploring to expand on lifetime truth, improving quality of life and the concept of reciprocity as it relates to good people.

So, when bad things happen to good people is there a reason? For me, I believe that everything happens for a reason. In my last post, I script about living life on purpose and that life without purpose is not the truth.

Therefore, the following question comes to mind when I think about when bad things happen to good people; are the bad things always intentional? Do the unexpected occurrences have to be all bad?

Photo of little boy standing away from the dock watching his dad and little brother walk the dock.  The intent shows fear.

Define the Bad Things

A prime example of a bad thing is an unforeseen layoff. Why would such a lousy thing happen to a good person. To me, a layoff is something that is not intentional although it is very easy for those that are impacted to feel that it is.

However, relative and real reasons for layoffs are budget cuts, AI intercepts or simply a true lack of work.

“Have you ever made things so efficient in the workplace that you ended up working yourself out of a job?”

An example of a recent and most likely unexpected layoff that impacted 400 workers was only a few weeks ago on July 29, 2019 at Uber:

The video states that Uber just went public in May. My question is, how many of the 400 marketing employees are good people. Will these people be better off or worse off?

For Better of For Worse

From someone with firsthand knowledge of such a crummy happening, the outcome of a layoff is not always “all bad.” In my case, I was provided the opportunity to stay and see the company divestiture to the end in which I accepted the opportunity with a contingent bonus.

Yet, as someone impacted by the recession in 2008-2010, I found myself in fear of unemployment so I began job searching even though I accepted the opportunity to stay.

A short while later, I was offered an opportunity to employ a University that I was eager to work for and the role, in my mind, was my dream job. Accounting, administration and a very decent office.

“With my passion for education and what I declared as my elite University, I felt on top of the World!”

Woman in car with head and arm hanging out of window depicting a feeling of freedom!

I was extremely happy and content in my newfound freedom, so for me, the good ended up outweighing the bad. On the other hand, and rightfully so, I lost out on the bonus to stay at the former company.

I did, however, provide adequate notice and effective training on my responsibilities. Do you think that I was wrong for leaving? I felt that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I took it.

Besides, my job would eventually end at the former company.. right?

In any case, the trade-off of forfeiting the bonus was an opportunity to pursue my MBA degree for only 15% of the cost (at least for the first year). Even so, what I labeled as a lousy occurrence, being faced with a layoff, resulted in a dream come true; at least for the moment.

Today, my determination is to keep dreaming for the next remarkable dream to reality come true; preferably in my lifetime truth.

Photo of road with a white arrow and a man with a backpack adjacent to the arrow only depicting his waist down.

Life’s Journey

We will always experience ebbs and flows throughout our life’s journey, but each journey does not have to be all bad. For me, I believe that a very key factor is to stay positive in your truth; regardless.

What’s more, when we are faced with times of discouragement, you should surround yourself with people who get it, as scripted in my post, “Surround Yourself with People Who Get It.. Right?

Finally, never give up on your lifetime truth or your dreams to reality. Believe in power of determination and intentional reciprocity for the good. I am a witness that outcomes are not always all bad.

“Stay steadfast in your purpose and lifetime truth.”

More detail on the theme of power of determination is in my post, “Why is Determination Important?

Conclusion

#lifetimetruth

Life without Purpose is Not the Truth, So Embrace Your Truth

Life without purpose is like a ship without a sail (Barrett, T.L., 1971). You cannot reach your “lifetime truth” destination unless you are breathing and navigating your purpose. So what is the meaning of purpose?

According to Merriam-Webster, purpose is defined as 1) something set up as an object or end to be attained INTENTION; 2) a subject under discussion or an action in course of execution (on purpose, by intent INTENTIONALLY).

If you are living your life with no intent, what are you living to attain? What is your lifetime truth? What makes you execute? I state that one of my life mantras is “if you love living, life will love you back.” So, loving life is the first step of the process.

This is another concept of reciprocity as mentioned in my post “Surround Yourself with People Who Get It, Right?”

To me, we all have passions embedded in us, so why go through life despondent and confined with intent?

Don’t be Afraid of Living Life on Purpose

As the definition states, purpose is an action in course of execution. For me, this means living your purpose of intent.

As an example, my truth for this site began as a segue to live the drives of my heart’s desires. To live my lifetime truth without restrictions.

The prime intent of my journey is a script of truth and lifetime substance. However, I will admit that although self-actualization has been good, I am somewhat concerned of the voyage. Why? Because it is a new platform and description of life that is new to me.

My background is a steady corporate America income on a consistent basis, and online “business” is newfangled with uncertainty.

Does this mean that I should give up my determination for lifetime truth? The answer is no. Instead, I often remind myself that the ““Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself” – Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Embrace your Truth

As I transition to embrace my truth, passion and purpose, I try very hard not to allow my fear to play a role in the process. I find myself thinking of the birds and the bees and how they survive life without climbing the corporate ladder.

What is there existence truth?

MATTHEW 6:25
Confirmed by my cousin Dom in a conversation on March 8, 2020 in a conversation not related to this post dated 7 months ago #butGod

Thus, I move on with my desire and determination to live my truth and share beliefs that I am passionate about which are wholeheartedly embedded as a substance of my life.

Picture of sidewalk with the words "passion led us here" written on it. Two people are standing below the words showing shoes and legs only.

Be More Productive in Life

As researched by Lisa Lai in the journal “Managing When the Future is Unclear” (HBR, 2019 Jan 09), strategic uncertainty can feel like slogging through mud. Leaders avoid investments. Decisions are deferred. Resources are frozen. Fear, uncertainty, and doubt drive bad behavior and personal agendas. 

She goes on to say that, even so, companies often succeed or fail based on their managers’ ability to move the organization forward precisely at times when the path ahead is hazy…. In the meantime, be productive

Although the HBR journal relates to managing an organization, for me it applies to living life on purpose such that we are our own organization. In other words, we must move our life purpose forward, especially when the deduction is unclear. So, for me, the same rules of the journal apply to myself as my own organization.

“My mind, body and soul are the employees and the team.”

Living life on purpose photo depicting the outcome of life is good!

Moreover, the journal speaks to delivering value and focusing on what you can control; take pragmatic action; embrace short-term strategies, a discrete set of priorities; and cultivating emotional steadiness. For me, all of these elements are reasonable inside of my own organization.

Conclusion

You cannot execute your lifetime truth with a life without purpose. It is more encouraging and fulfilling to live life in pursuit of your passion and embracing your truth. Function your life as your own organization and remember to stay productive in the execution.

Also, this is not a drive to quit your day job, because you can execute your passion as a volunteer, a side hustle or even on the job, employing your truth. Whatever you do and how you do it, just remember to “do it” (execute) and “do it” (execute) with intent.

Truth..

#lifetimetruth

Surround Yourself with People Who Get It, Right?

Of course, we should all surround our self with people who get it. Especially in today’s world, now more so than ever. However, what does it mean to surround yourself with people who get it? Is there a Merriam-Webster definition for this?

Unfortunately, the answer is not quite..

For me, when I think about “people who get it,” I think about genuine good people that show authentic care and interest. So, for the purposes of this post, let’s use the following Merriam-Webster definitions for genuine; 1) actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character; 2) actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author; 3) sincerely and honestly felt or experienced; and

4) ACTUAL, TRUE.

Chosen photo for surrounding yourself with people who get it. A structured office setting, authentic look with desk, bookshelf, light and stool - wood.

These are definitions that I absolutely love because they resonate with my heart’s core of quality and “truth.” Relative synonyms for genuine are authentic, bona fide, certifiable, certified, dinkum [Australian & New Zealand], echt, honest, pukka (also pucka), real, right, sure-enough and true.

The bold words are repeatedly mentioned in my prior post “ Truth, Facts, Actualities.” Why?

They depict my lifetime truth and my genuine, innate self character and life being. I believe that this is the same case for most of you who are reading this post – people who get it.

What’s more, I do not believe in being bogus, counterfeit, fake or false which are antonyms of genuine. Nor do I want to surround myself with people who live, breathe and denote these features.

I prefer to do without any of that. Dear Diary, genuine authentic people “get it.” I do not wish to engage any alternative which is not my truth.

Chosen photo for surrounding yourself with people who get it. Photo of woman writing with coffee cup on authentic look table, dear diary.

Authentic Like You

A related definition of authentic is true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. Again, to me it all starts with the heart’s core – the center of quality people. Where integrity, honesty and truth are innate and native features. Their living appearance is not made up or phony.

On the other hand, it can be difficult to discern if someone is being real or fake. I describe an example in my, what I call “Truth,” post where a co-worker told me a bold-faced story in my face.

I thought so highly of this individual and we had a great working relationship. I would have never thought that he was, essentially, bogus and counterfeit.

I am still a bit shaken and feel some kind of way about this.. not really, but kind of. In other words, I am over it, but I am still surprised by it.

Chosen photo depicting a woman disappointed, not smiling on a motorcycle with a black hat.

How to Tell if Someone is Real or Fake

Let’s look at how to tell if someone is genuine from an evidence-based perspective. According to research in the “The Kind of Authenticity Customers Will Pay More For” by O’Connor, K. Lehman, D. and Carroll, G. (HBR, 2019, June 27) journal, authenticity that conveys adhering to one’s core beliefs might persuade consumers to pay more for ‘said’ products but not necessarily rate them any higher.

To me, this is fine because I do not feel that the ratings part is a factor as it relates to the idea of good people in this specific post.

Forbes 12 Habits of Genuine People: https://www.forbes.com/video/5202030973001

Furthermore, research in the same journal shows that authenticity that conveys fitting within a category might lead to higher social evaluations like star ratings but not an increase in consumers’ willingness to pay more.

Means, the consumer’s willingness to buy more no longer exists without the presence of one’s core beliefs.

For the purpose of this article and how it relates to the HBR journal, we have one customer type; good authentic people. And yes, most of us desire social acceptance, friendship likes and Instagram cheers. However, it is apparent that these desires, wants and needs must embed our heart’s core. An effective correlation to one’s core beliefs from the consumer’s perspective as evidenced in the HBR journal.

Thus, we can shift the paradigm from the willingness of consumers to pay more to attracting good people that authentically get it and that we want to be surrounded by. In addition to, them wanting to be surrounded by us.

“Reciprocity as a concept of authentic good people..”

Conclusion

Even though a direct definition of how to “Surround Yourself with People Who Get It” does not exist, it is my trust that the journey begins with people who’s core beliefs are genuine and centered in authenticity.

Truth..

#lifetimetruth

Why is Determination Important?

For this post, the word determination is defined as 1) direction or tendency to a certain end IMPULSION and 2) the act of deciding definitely and firmly. So why is determination important?

I mention that I am a current Master of Business Administration (MBA) student in my last post. Therefore, I have first-hand knowledge of what it means to have strong determination.

However, I vowed to never attend school again when I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in Accounting just over 10 years ago.

Power of Determination

Today, a friend and I discussed how frustrated and angry she was with school although she only has about two quarters remaining in her Bachelor’s program. I expressed to here that I experienced the same frustration around the same time in pursuit of my Bachelor’s degree.

In fact, I recall being absolutely livid about attending school at quarter 5 of 8, but two childhood friends kept me encouraged to keep pushing forward. We interacted daily on FB.

“I keep my FB deactivated today, but that is a different story for a different time.. essentially, it is a life choice that I made a few years back to stay current in reality.”

Nonetheless, my recommendation to her was to trust the power of determination. I assured her that it would all be worth it in the end. Today, she is still striving with strong determination.

  • It is important and encouraging to note that she is in her early 40’s with 3 kids under age 13, a single mom and 2 adult children. Her degree concentration is network security and I am extremely proud of her very strong determination. She is pushing forward to set an example for her children as well as a sure determination for her life.

This video further describes why determination is important and how any achievement is unconditionally possible (I tend to watch videos on playback speeds of 1.25 or 1.50 by selecting the cog icon):

Conclusion

It took ten years for me to walk in my power of determination once again. However, I am making great strides and once again, I am at the path of only a few quarters remaining. Yet, this time I am not angry. Instead I am co-creating a new journey of life and so far I like it!

Never give up on yourself or your dreams. Power of determination is real and categorically attainable. Keep believing with an open mind and remember that integrity is your only collateral in this thing we call life.

Truth..

#lifetimetruth

Truth, Facts, Actuality

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines truth as 1) the body of real things, events and facts: ACTUALITY; 2) the state of being the case: FACT; and 3) a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality.

In the Merriam-Webster thesaurus, truth is labeled as accuracy, actuality, authenticity, correctness, credibility, honesty, trustworthiness, truthfulness, veracity, dependability and reliability. It states that its synonyms are factuality and verity.

Chosen image of truth for post. Still woman looking at a moving train with her head turned.

Truth and Integrity

Integrity is your only collateral” as mentioned in my last post. I feel that people struggle with truth today and therefore, it is hard to trust one another. I am not being judgmental here, but I feel that it is important to realize the value of truth and how it relates to trust. With varying social media outlets, it is easy to disguise the truth and pretend to be someone or something that we are not. Again, no judgment here, but at times it is difficult to discern the truth from reality in today’s world.

What’s more, people may not tell the truth in your face, eye-to-eye which is worse in my viewpoint. I had a recent experience where a co-worker called himself expressing empathy for me regarding a personal situation that I went through. He stated, “I called you a few times but you did not answer, I am sorry to hear about (my situation)?” I felt as though he was being very sincere and expressing his truth. However, when I checked my call log, I did not see a missed call from him. I was devastated.. pretty much worse than the personal situation I had gone through.

Truth and Trust

Recently, I took an individual and team dynamics course as a MBA student and the information that we learned about trust was fascinating. According to Paul J. Zak in “The Neuroscience of Trust,” a survey of 1,095 working adults in the U.S. revealed that the U.S. average for organizational trust was 70% (out of a possible 100%) with one firm scoring an abysmally low 15%.

As a result of the experience I had with my co-worker, I think that I am now a part of the other 30% that do not trust organizations and/or the people inside of organizations (jokingly.. kind of).

The Value of Truth

Conclusion

Is trust the currency of the future as stated by the University of Waterloo’s Adjunct Associate Professor and Director of the Problem Lab, Larry Smith in the video? For me, trust relies on truth. I remember learning that the truth shall set you free from my grands back in the day.

For me, I believe that we should build our legacies on the foundation of truth and trust will manifest after. Thus, the end result will improve quality of life with a focus on truth, facts and actuality. It has been worth it to me. What is your truth?

Truth..

#lifetimetruth

Improve Quality of Life with Quality People

To improve quality of life it is my belief that we should surround our self with quality people. Quality, as defined by Merriam Webster, is a peculiar and essential character, an inherent feature.

Familiar synonyms from an adjective perspective are beautiful, awesome, first-class, prime, boss, lovely, prizewinning and top-shelf.

Truth..

Like most of us, my hope is a beautiful and awesome life as much as possible for the limited time that we have on this earth. So, how is this accomplished? For me, it starts with integrity and honesty. We must realize the importance of truth in our everyday life of interactions. Work, school, family, friends, social media.. everything.

Quality should be intrinsic within our heart’s core. Therefore, we have to begin with a beautiful heart and awesome mind of truth to become first-class, divine, and ultimately valuable and attractive to others.

Attract the Essential Character

As stated by Nicholas Pearce (HBR, 2019, April 9) in “Why People — and Companies — Need Purpose,” the idea of life’s work requires a degree of human authenticity. To me, we create this authenticity with our heart’s core. From there, we improve our quality of life by attracting people with the same inherent feature.

Our original and organic self should start with and always demonstrate truth and integrity..

Three people on the tailgate of a red truck showing waist down only. A scene of quality people and truth.

Integrity Life & Quality People

To understand integrity let us look at its opposites: badness, evil, immorality and wickedness. I do not know about you, but I do not want to live my life and have these characteristics displayed on my headstone or in my obituary. Instead, I prefer to live my life in remembrance of beauty, inside and out, awesomeness and first-class!

“Integrity is your only collateral..”

If you have no integrity, you have no collateral. This means that, collateral is Google dictionary defined as an asset or piece of property that a borrower offers to a lender as security for a loan. In life, your collateral is your truth and honesty. If you defy your truth and honesty, you default on your life loan or generally speaking, “your word.”

I believe that Aine Donovan, Adjunct Associate Professor at Tuck and Executive Director of the Ethics Institute at Dartmouth describes it best:

Conclusion

The company that we keep matters. Dr. Donovan’s reference is focused on business, but for me we can apply the same concept and principle to life. In other words, integrity is the key to being a quality person and integrity is the glue that binds quality people to a quality life.

Therefore, to improve quality of life we must live an integrity life and the power of reciprocity will attract us to quality people.

#lifetimetruth