What does it mean when bad things happen to good people? Synonyms of bad as defined by Merriam-Webster are crummy, lame, lousy, sour, suboptimal, subpar, unacceptable, unsatisfactory and wrong.

If you are a good person, why do things go wrong or turn out lousy and feel unacceptable? I think that this is a great question worth exploring to expand on lifetime truth, improving quality of life and the concept of reciprocity as it relates to good people.

So, when bad things happen to good people is there a reason? For me, I believe that everything happens for a reason. In my last post, I script about living life on purpose and that life without purpose is not the truth.

Therefore, the following question comes to mind when I think about when bad things happen to good people; are the bad things always intentional? Do the unexpected occurrences have to be all bad?

Define the Bad Things

A prime example of a bad thing is an unforeseen layoff. Why would such a lousy thing happen to a good person. To me, a layoff is something that is not intentional although it is very easy for those that are impacted to feel that it is.

However, relative and real reasons for layoffs are budget cuts, AI intercepts or simply a true lack of work.

“Have you ever made things so efficient in the workplace that you ended up working yourself out of a job?”

An example of a recent and most likely unexpected layoff that impacted 400 workers was only a few weeks ago on July 29, 2019 at Uber:

https://youtu.be/YMl2_HBUawU

The video states that Uber just went public in May. My question is, how many of the 400 marketing employees are good people. Will these people be better off or worse off?

For Better of For Worse

From someone with firsthand knowledge of such a crummy happening, the outcome of a layoff is not always “all bad.” In my case, I was provided the opportunity to stay and see the company divestiture to the end in which I accepted the opportunity with a contingent bonus.

Yet, as someone impacted by the recession in 2008-2010, I found myself in fear of unemployment so I began job searching even though I accepted the opportunity to stay.

A short while later, I was offered an opportunity to employ a University that I was eager to work for and the role, in my mind, was my dream job. Accounting, administration and a very decent office.

“With my passion for education and what I declared as my elite University, I felt on top of the World!”

I was extremely happy and content in my newfound freedom, so for me, the good ended up outweighing the bad. On the other hand, and rightfully so, I lost out on the bonus to stay at the former company.

I did, however, provide adequate notice and effective training on my responsibilities. Do you think that I was wrong for leaving? I felt that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I took it.

Besides, my job would eventually end at the former company.. right?

In any case, the trade-off of forfeiting the bonus was an opportunity to pursue my MBA degree for only 15% of the cost (at least for the first year). Even so, what I labeled as a lousy occurrence, being faced with a layoff, resulted in a dream come true; at least for the moment.

Today, my determination is to keep dreaming for the next remarkable dream to reality come true; preferably in my lifetime truth.

Life’s Journey

We will always experience ebbs and flows throughout our life’s journey, but each journey does not have to be all bad. For me, I believe that a very key factor is to stay positive in your truth; regardless.

What’s more, when we are faced with times of discouragement, you should surround yourself with people who get it, as scripted in my post, “Surround Yourself with People Who Get It.. Right?”

Finally, never give up on your lifetime truth or your dreams to reality. Believe in power of determination and intentional reciprocity for the good. I am a witness that outcomes are not always all bad.

“Stay steadfast in your purpose and lifetime truth.”

More detail on the theme of power of determination is in my post, “Why is Determination Important?”

Conclusion

#lifetimetruth

Of course, we should all surround our self with people who get it. Especially in today’s world, now more so than ever. However, what does it mean to surround yourself with people who get it? Is there a Merriam-Webster definition for this?

Unfortunately, the answer is not quite..

For me, when I think about “people who get it,” I think about genuine good people that show authentic care and interest. So, for the purposes of this post, let’s use the following Merriam-Webster definitions for genuine; 1) actually having the reputed or apparent qualities or character; 2) actually produced by or proceeding from the alleged source or author; 3) sincerely and honestly felt or experienced; and

4) ACTUAL, TRUE.

These are definitions that I absolutely love because they resonate with my heart’s core of quality and “truth.” Relative synonyms for genuine are authentic, bona fide, certifiable, certified, dinkum [Australian & New Zealand], echt, honest, pukka (also pucka), real, right, sure-enough and true.

The bold words are repeatedly mentioned in my prior post “ Truth, Facts, Actualities.” Why?

They depict my lifetime truth and my genuine, innate self character and life being. I believe that this is the same case for most of you who are reading this post – people who get it.

What’s more, I do not believe in being bogus, counterfeit, fake or false which are antonyms of genuine. Nor do I want to surround myself with people who live, breathe and denote these features.

I prefer to do without any of that. Dear Diary, genuine authentic people “get it.” I do not wish to engage any alternative which is not my truth.

Authentic Like You

A related definition of authentic is true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character. Again, to me it all starts with the heart’s core – the center of quality people. Where integrity, honesty and truth are innate and native features. Their living appearance is not made up or phony.

On the other hand, it can be difficult to discern if someone is being real or fake. I describe an example in my, what I call “Truth,” post where a co-worker told me a bold-faced story in my face.

I thought so highly of this individual and we had a great working relationship. I would have never thought that he was, essentially, bogus and counterfeit.

I am still a bit shaken and feel some kind of way about this.. not really, but kind of. In other words, I am over it, but I am still surprised by it.

How to Tell if Someone is Real or Fake

Let’s look at how to tell if someone is genuine from an evidence-based perspective. According to research in the “The Kind of Authenticity Customers Will Pay More For” by O’Connor, K. Lehman, D. and Carroll, G. (HBR, 2019, June 27) journal, authenticity that conveys adhering to one’s core beliefs might persuade consumers to pay more for ‘said’ products but not necessarily rate them any higher.

To me, this is fine because I do not feel that the ratings part is a factor as it relates to the idea of good people in this specific post.

Forbes 12 Habits of Genuine People: https://www.forbes.com/video/5202030973001

Furthermore, research in the same journal shows that authenticity that conveys fitting within a category might lead to higher social evaluations like star ratings but not an increase in consumers’ willingness to pay more.

Means, the consumer’s willingness to buy more no longer exists without the presence of one’s core beliefs.

For the purpose of this article and how it relates to the HBR journal, we have one customer type; good authentic people. And yes, most of us desire social acceptance, friendship likes and Instagram cheers. However, it is apparent that these desires, wants and needs must embed our heart’s core. An effective correlation to one’s core beliefs from the consumer’s perspective as evidenced in the HBR journal.

Thus, we can shift the paradigm from the willingness of consumers to pay more to attracting good people that authentically get it and that we want to be surrounded by. In addition to, them wanting to be surrounded by us.

“Reciprocity as a concept of authentic good people..”

Conclusion

Even though a direct definition of how to “Surround Yourself with People Who Get It” does not exist, it is my trust that the journey begins with people who’s core beliefs are genuine and centered in authenticity.

#lifetimetruth

To improve quality of life it is my belief that we should surround our self with quality people. Quality, as defined by Merriam Webster, is a peculiar and essential character, an inherent feature.

Familiar synonyms from an adjective perspective are beautiful, awesome, first-class, prime, boss, lovely, prizewinning and top-shelf.

Like most of us, my hope is a beautiful and awesome life as much as possible for the limited time that we have on this earth. So, how is this accomplished? For me, it starts with integrity and honesty. We must realize the importance of truth in our everyday life of interactions. Work, school, family, friends, social media.. everything.

Quality should be intrinsic within our heart’s core. Therefore, we have to begin with a beautiful heart and awesome mind of truth to become first-class, divine, and ultimately valuable and attractive to others.

Attract the Essential Character

As stated by Nicholas Pearce (HBR, 2019, April 9) in “Why People — and Companies — Need Purpose,” the idea of life’s work requires a degree of human authenticity. To me, we create this authenticity with our heart’s core. From there, we improve our quality of life by attracting people with the same inherent feature.

Our original and organic self should start with and always demonstrate truth and integrity..

Integrity Life & Quality People

To understand integrity let us look at its opposites: badness, evil, immorality and wickedness. I do not know about you, but I do not want to live my life and have these characteristics displayed on my headstone or in my obituary. Instead, I prefer to live my life in remembrance of beauty, inside and out, awesomeness and first-class!

“Integrity is your only collateral..”

If you have no integrity, you have no collateral. This means that, collateral is Google dictionary defined as an asset or piece of property that a borrower offers to a lender as security for a loan. In life, your collateral is your truth and honesty. If you defy your truth and honesty, you default on your life loan or generally speaking, “your word.”

I believe that Aine Donovan, Adjunct Associate Professor at Tuck and Executive Director of the Ethics Institute at Dartmouth describes it best:

Conclusion

The company that we keep matters. Dr. Donovan’s reference is focused on business, but for me we can apply the same concept and principle to life. In other words, integrity is the key to being a quality person and integrity is the glue that binds quality people to a quality life.

Therefore, to improve quality of life we must live an integrity life and the power of reciprocity will attract us to quality people.

#lifetimetruth